January 03, 2018

You were a jumble of mishaps, 'what ifs' and 'buts' and 'maybes'. You were ungrateful at times, making me feel things I didn't want to feel, and putting me in situations I didn't necessarily want to find myself in. At some points, you were making me run for my life, physically and mentally. You made me question myself constantly, you torn me into pieces and threw me up into the air, made me sew myself back together again. You were like the sun on my back, distant but always there: waving me goodbye and also good morning.

I don't remember much of you, and I think I'd like to leave it this way.

You weren't all misery though, I must admit. You held my hand and took me on an adventure – one with twists and turns and bumpy muddy roads, but I walked through the fire and in return I was gifted with trees of wisdom and forehead kisses from confidence.

You guided me through opportunities and urged me to let go, urged me to proceed in fear and witness the beauty of vulnerability within myself. You were like stardust, soft and sparkly and if I rubbed my eyes too hard, you would disappear into the depths of darkness.

I forgive you for being raw. You encouraged me to view things with ease and without difficulty. You helped me grow my own orchard with the juiciest of fruits, ones that I could taste, slightly bitter but oh so sweet. I am more than glad that you have come to an end, you were a year of confusion and a sting in the system, unforgettable and forgettable all at the same time.

Thank you endlessly, for pushing me forward, providing me with the courage and the strength, the inspiration and the willingness, the support, and the understanding.

Here's to you 2017.
*Image featured above found on Tumblr

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